Problemo number 2 centered around sleep. I couldn’t sleep early if my life depended on it sometimes. This issue was always around. But a breakdown was just waiting for me. I came to a realization that I became guilty or upset sleeping early. Because if my day was not what I expected – if I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do, then I should work on doing these small tasks. Goodness gracious I was very good as beating myself up of all the fun stuff I woulda coulda shoulda done but didn’t. Being on my phone, computer or staring at my keyboard became the main culprits of stealing my sleep. Being busy in some way meant I was “doing” something. If I didn’t get to do one thing off my “to-do/ta-dah” list I tried making up for it by doing something - anything else. Aimlessly surfing the web or on some social media platforms.
|Source: Bedding Selections|
My breakthrough, as small as it was, came from free writing. My nimble fingers wrote that overworking doesn’t mean you add value to your task. I deserve sleep – how else am I supposed to sustain my sweet youthful eyes at 40 years if I have pockets deeper than the Grand Canyon? Sometimes when you have done all you are capable of doing you got to stop and let Life/God do the rest. Again another area which will need baby steps but I am open. More self-mothering and being observant here.
Problem number three was around praciting piano and voice. Now this example can be taken for ... Again tune in one more time for Breakthroughs and Breakdowns 3 or 3. Read part 1